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More and more couples are now choosing the concept of Living Apart Together (LAT) or becoming Apartner, which is the key to maintaining a happy and healthy relationship.
Apartners find romance in their independence.
Many couples follow the traditional path of living together, by sharing everything from bedrooms to bathrooms, but a new trend is challenging this idea. More and more couples are now choosing the concept of Living Apart Together (LAT) or becoming Apartners. For these pairs, living in separate homes and having their own personal spaces is the key to maintaining a happy, healthy and long lasting relationship. Rather than sharing one roof, they find romance in their independence. But what exactly does this kind of relationship look like? Why do some believe it’s better than traditional living together? Let’s explore how living apart can actually bring couples closer.
Couples following this new trend live in different cities or even states because of their jobs, while others stay nearby but choose separate homes that fit their personal needs. They believe this helps them grow as individuals and strengthens their relationship. It also helps avoid daily arguments over chores and responsibilities, which often lead to stress and fights. Surprisingly, well known celebrity pairs like Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith, Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor, Sheryl Lee Ralph and Vincent Hughes, and Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk have followed this idea even before it became common and have seen good results.
Paltrow, who first met her husband Falchuk in 2010 through her Iron Man co-star Robert Downey Jr, previously told The Times that, “All my married friends say that the way we live sounds ideal and we shouldn’t change a thing. I don’t care about the haters. Haters are irrelevant to me. It’s like Brené Brown says: I’m not making this work for people who aren’t in the arena. Haters don’t mean anything to me because they are not my people.”
For Sarah Paulson and Holland Taylor, living apart is making their bond even stronger. In a past episode of the SmartLess podcast, the American Horror Story actress shared that this setup works well for them and has had a positive effect on their relationship.
Paulson said, “We don’t live together, that’s the sort of secret. Holland and I spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house. We’ve been together for a long time now and I think part of it has to do with we’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t. Holland before me had not been in a ton of long-term relationships, whereas Holland is my sort of third, you know more than a 5 year relationship. So I tend to do that and have more experience doing that, Holland has it.”
Couples who choose to live apart often enjoy the feeling of missing each other and the excitement that comes with meeting again. This can help keep their connection fresh and even improve physical intimacy. Some couples also use this space to explore personal interests or needs. In some cases and with mutual understanding, they may even decide to have an open relationship. While this style of living isn’t for everyone, it works well for some. On the other hand, there’s no actual proof that couples who sleep in different beds or homes have weaker relationships than those who live together.
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Delhi, India, India
