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In many countries, including the US, a “per-plate” catering system is preferred, where food is arranged based on the number of confirmed guests, each plate bearing a specific cost
Many users sided with the bride, arguing that RSVPs are meant to help hosts avoid precisely such losses. (Representative Image)
A bride’s decision to charge guests who failed to show up at her wedding has triggered a fiery online debate, after the incident was shared on the popular Reddit group “r/weddingshaming”.
Weddings are often grand affairs with meticulous planning, and food arrangements are among the most complex. In India, meals are commonly prepared in bulk, with cooks hired for the occasion and food made on demand throughout the event. But in many Western countries, including the US, a “per-plate” catering system is preferred, where food is arranged based on the number of confirmed guests, each plate bearing a specific cost.
That’s why RSVPs are considered crucial, and for one bride, a failure to show up without notice was not just a social slight, but a financial burden.
According to a Reddit user, her friend’s wedding in Minnesota turned sour after a few invited guests, including the Reddit user’s mother and boyfriend, missed the event at the last minute. The user had initially RSVPed for all three, but on the day of the ceremony, her boyfriend’s work schedule changed unexpectedly and her mother fell ill, forcing them both to skip the wedding.
The bride, however, was upset.
See the viral post:
“….she spent 50 bucks per plate and she cant believe they’re not coming when we rsvpd. She told me shes tempted to ask them to pay 50 dollars each for not coming! I was like what the hell nobody knew you were spending per plate??”, the Reddit post read.
The guest defended herself, stating that she had no idea each plate cost $50 (approx. Rs 4,339) and that emergencies could not have been predicted. “They weren’t the only ones to miss her wedding either so maybe she was mad she lost out on the money. She sounded so tacky though,” the post added, emphasising that it was an out of town wedding in Minnesota. Travelling to the out-of-town wedding itself involved flying and considerable expenses for attendees, the redittor explained.
The post quickly drew thousands of reactions online.
Many users sided with the bride, arguing that RSVPs are meant to help hosts avoid precisely such losses. “If you confirm your presence, you should honour that commitment unless it’s an emergency,” one user wrote. Others suggested that if guests are fined for missing meals, they should at least be allowed to pack their portion and take it home.
A few users, including self-proclaimed wedding planners, chimed in with real-world advice. “I always tell clients to expect 5-10% no-shows, even with RSVPs,” said one, “But if someone cancels at the last minute, it’s unfair on the hosts, especially when they’re paying per plate.”
Still, others felt the bride overreacted. “It’s a wedding, not a commercial transaction,” one user wrote, while another said that there should be grace for emergencies. Turning it into a billing exercise kills the spirit of celebration, the user said.
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